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Rob:
President Original founding member and inspiration to all LVIS members. His guile and cunning have no limits and he regularly conjures wins from nowhere. Always one to get excited when a race approaches, it's often best to leave him to focus in a Zen-like way. |
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Andy W Always performing at the highest level, Mr Consistent. He is unusual in that despite unfortunate enjoyment of long distance events (including 12 hour Time Trials) and Time Trialling he is always happy and has never been heard to complain. Except when it rained before SSMM2005. |
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Chris LVIS's version of 007, always ensuring that he performs while looking cool and collected under pressure. Always on the lookout for new female supporters who have to pass his stringent tests before being admitted to the Official LVIS Fan Club. |
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Darren LVIS's Alpine racer, renown for his ability to gain places right up to the dying moments of any event. Capable of riding up Mont Blanc on nothing but a baguette and a decent sized Camembert. |
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Dave The Enigma, The Legend. Known by many names and rarely seen but the stories of his prowess have travelled far and wide. If it's late at night and you see a fast moving silhouette moving across the full moon, it's probably him getting some minor air. |
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Dylan The driving force behind LVIS. Blessed with a freakish lung capacity and scarily big legs, he is always a good man to have on your team! Combine these attributes with an enormous tolerance for drink makes him the perfect companion to carry you home! Mr Vegas 2006. |
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Gareth VR Vastly experienced and in possession of an ability to break bikes while not riding them. While outwardly liking to project an image of not being overly fit, he can always be relied on to pull a result out of the bag when required. A little known fact is that he enjoys 'Bike Gardening' - a pastime that involves growing plants on/in bicycles. |
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Jack With understated ease, he is always Mr Cool. Surprisingly strong and capable of reducing a rowing machine to a smouldering pile of bent metal within minutes. He is responsible for introducing LVIS's official cocktail (the 'Dark & Stormy') with entertaining results. |
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Leon Lithe, quick and daring, he is the classic bike racer, loving the uphills even more than the downhills. Rarely seen, it is supposed that this is due to his high speeds making him very hard to spot. |
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Tim J Known as 'Spanky' for long-forgotten reasons. Always relaxed, particularly after listening to his special mix of Jazz, Dance and Easy-listening music. Holds the Official World Record for Strawpedoes, at 0.7983 seconds. |
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Al A relatively new recruit and a late starter. Voted 'World's Nicest Bloke' two years running (controversially coming 2nd in 2004) and performing a wide range of Bufty sports from Cricket to Real Tennis. |
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Angus The mighty figurehead of LVIS' sporting prowess. Standing at over 6'5" and with an arm span that has been used as an emergency bridge, he cuts a dashing figure wherever he goes. Regularly seen at the front of bike races with a string of other riders desperately attempting to stay on his wheel. |
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Martin Wise, worldly, sly and Scottish, he uses all these attributes to good effect when racing - looking miserable and putting on a good impression of suffering and not enjoying himself until the critical moment when he rips the race apart and takes the lead, never to lose it. Never get the wrong side of him! |
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Tim M More famous for his weight loss tips (voted World's Lightest Roadie in 2002), he is at his happiest when making fellow roadies suffer with his lightning pace while going uphill. |
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Mike A pin-stripe suited captain of industry who transforms into a lycra-clad racing snake at the merest whiff of GT85, Mike can always be relied upon to bend his back to the yoke and put in the laps day or night, rain or shine. A stoic if not glum outlook belies a diamond geezer quick to jest. Recently developed speed on the Road and Singlespeed have produced a real competitor. |
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Andy L A science boffin who is also an experienced cyclist with many races under his belt. His cool, calm. pragmatic approach to racing is a welcome addition to any team. He's never one to be found wanting when the quick laps need to be put in. Powered only by SIS and huge quantities of cake, rumours have it that a well known brand of exceeding good cakes is interested in becoming his personal sponsor for next season. |
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Fraser One of LVIS's senior members, he is always able to provide a snippet of wisdom or to impart some keen knowledge. A demon in the Spinning class, he only ventures into the light of the great outdoors once daylight saving is over and unleashes his stealth fitness on the unsuspecting competition. |
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Gareth J The self styled quiet man of LVIS, Gareth is rarely seen or heard. The epitome of the XC race whippet he maintains a a body mass almost exactly equivalent to half a Mars bar. Equally at home in a pair of fell running shoes as on a bike he lives to scale hills...big hills. Little known fact: Gareth's favourite song is 'Agadoo' by Black Lace and it often brings him to the brink of tears when he hears it |
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Antony Small and bearded, it would be easy not to recognise Antony for the cycling colossus that he is. Regularly found digging holes in the woods, he's unquestionably the man to ask about the properties of mud and trees. While his love of getting Phat air would suggest someone more in tune with the Xtreme side of sports, when on his 70s racing machine, he's definitely not to be underestimated. |
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Marcus Rumour has it that Marcus was designed in a wind tunnel after extensive testing to find the perfect shape for minimal drag. With a voracious appetite that belies his slender frame he is always keen to compete whether on the road, trail or on the water. Notable results include 6th in the 2005 Cheese Rolling and Silver in the Inaugural World Championship Bog Triathlon |
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Sean A man with a prodigious appetite for miles, hills and drink. Rarely turns up for a race in the best of physical form but somehow still pulls out the results regardless. An international-level player of 'Edward Ciderhands'. |
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Giles By day a committed family man but by night (or evening) he transforms into a lycra clad roadie (with occasional forays off road). Legendary for enjoying anything that avoids going down or along the flat (especially if there's a head wind), he's truly never happier than when reaching for the sky. |
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Nouveau Mr Laid back, he's the living embodiment of LVIS's ethos of racing hard while remaining relaxed. Famous for his love of all thing pirate, zombie and one gear related. Famously coined the unofficial LVIS motto of "Man up or go home". |
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Andy K Captain Kirk, boldly goes wherever other cyclists have gone but always wants to do it bigger or better. The driving force behind many a biking adventure including the 2006 Etape ride, this guy plans a good race and then forgets to train for it!!. Mind you, why should he, as he is gifted with the ability to dig deep on the days that count and pull out performances to be proud of. |
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Alex The result of a collaboration between Joe Breeze and Gary Fisher at the dawn of mountain biking. They were jolly proud of their work, but neither could agree who had actually invented him, and a terrible rift ensued. The two have never spoken again. Why Alex is in the UK remains a mystery. The mountain biking in his native California is reputed to be the best in the world, so either it is actually rubbish or he has been exiled. Either way, LVIS is the winner! Alex owns the world’s greenest bike. It is so green that it actually sucks in CO2 and is lusted after by the King of Ireland. |
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Paddy Built tough, his passport states that he was manufactured in the Tonka Toys factory in Liverpool (shortly before they broke the moulds). Paddy’s palmares includes some impressive accolades: Concussion from running in to a piece of string (set up by himself) and putting all three prongs of a 13amp plug through his foot when getting out of bed. perversely, he has never hurt himself whilst sky diving, snow boarding, cycling, rock climbing or purposefully abusing himself with cider and Belgian Mix. |
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Stu The smiling competitor, typifying LVIS character. Always fitter than he thinks, he'll still be there fighting (and grinning) at the bitter end. Can turn his hand to 3 major LVIS disciplines (cycling, triathlon and rowing) though controversially not always for LVIS. Like the King himself, a hit with the ladies. |
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Steve Small but perfectly formed with the exception of his outsized feet. A late developer who's making up for it by rapidly breaking into the upper echelons of various sports though this rapid improvement does mean the occasional painful incident including use of his head as a braking device. |
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Scott Never knowingly fully fit or properly prepared, he still somehow manages to keep putting the performances in though often at the price of breaking himself and requiring some TLC post event. LVIS's official brewing partner. |
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Warren From a far flung land (Scotland) and rarely seen, except through a telescope from low down while watching him scale the Alps repeatedly. Famous for his ability to ride one-handed up mountains while giving all around him the peace sign. |
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John There is no truth in various rumours about him - he still needs shoes despite having developed SPD feet; He still needs a saddle despite having a 'clip in' behind; He has yet to genetically alter his body to accommodate a CamelBak and 13pints of blood; He hasn't yet grown extra fingers to facilitate braking & changing gear at the same time; His head is naturally aero so pointy helmets are superfluous (although he could do with a haircut) He does however take EPO (Evening Primrose Oil). Apparently |
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Tess The grande dame of the skort-wearing members of LVIS, she is an apparent mass of contradictions that belie her feisty race-winning spirit. A self-proclaimed amateur, despite having ridden since the days when bikes used suspension made from pencil erasers. Owner of one of the jeyest bikes in the entire LVIS squad, yet hopelessly besotted with hirsute Aussie DHer Nathan Rennie. Her natural modesty belies the fact that her crack female super-team has triumphed in all of their races to date, and when not on the podium she can usually be found fending off a stream of desperate suitors with a stick. |
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Neil Using a unique formula of Werthers Original and cod liver oil to power himself, Neil can often be found showing young whipper-snappers a fraction of his age how it's done. Specialising in keeping a low profile in the middle of the peloton but with an ability to make a break that can catch the unwary by surprise, Neil should never be underestimated. |
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Kirstie After a decade long search consulting Debrett’s, Kirstie married into the greatest mountain biking dynasty LVIS has ever seen. OK, that’s 3 people with the same surname. Kirstie defies nature itself by actually being quicker uphill than down, a feat only otherwise achieved by magic waterfalls and some (other) monkeys. Kirstie chooses to race with both a CamelBak and a bottle. Not due to issues of dehydration, but so that she has something fashionable and snuggly to wear in the pub afterwards. |
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Sally Original owner of the skort, presented to her in a desperate and unsuccessful courting ritual by a besotted bike shop employee. Nouvette is in many ways made in her brother’s image, only lacking some of the crippling deficiencies of modern living, but curiously sharing exactly the same hands. Sally has pitied more fools than Mr T today; one such fool asked her out on a MTB date, was taken down the infamous Picnic Table and cried himself a river. Shortly after, he quit his jibba jabba. |
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James What you need to know about James is that he rides single speed, cyclocross and even track. So you know he is a REAL man not a fully-suspended, 27-speed poseur. You can twist his arm to ride in just about any weather and he'll also stop at the pub before, during or after the ride. The only thing that is unsettling is his constantly changing facial hair - just who is he hiding from? |
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Andy B One of LVIS' most prodigious winners, he scythes through the field at every race he enters. Being a cheerful, blond bombshell with under 1% fat, and near 99% muscle he typifies what LVIS is about. He's too modest to admit it but in 1996 he was approached by a certain famous Texan cyclist for weight loss tips. |
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Beccy An ex national-standard crag-hopper; even J-Lo is jealous of the knowledge of rocks that she’s got. She used to have a little, now she’s got a lot (faster at down-hilling). But she knows where she came from. Beccy is Las Vegas Institute of Skort’s official secret weapon and Le Mans start expert. Her fitness and ultra fashionable size-zero frame allow her to rocket up steep hills faster than a mountain goat |
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Jimmy |
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Russ
aka the 'LVIS Beacon' always recognisable by the bright red face that would put a Ribenna berry to shame. A keen rower and cyclist but also a member of the first LVIS surfboat crew and is never happier than when wedged up in his Speedos... |
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Ian |
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Phil |